The struggles of being a single parent…

This is going to be a hard one for me to write, but it my opinion and/experience. I know I am not the only single mother in the world that have struggles and I can completely understand where they are coming from. But this thing called struggles, challenges you to be a rock star every day. It never fails that your struggles are going to push you to try harder each and every day. I have made it this far and I don’t plan on giving up, and yes, I might cry sometimes, but I pick myself up wipe my face, and keep praying and thanking God that I have come this far. Then I realize that it is all worth it; the bible tells us in James 1:2-4 ESV says,

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

See I am a single mother of 2 boys my oldest that is 18 and my youngest is 9, my oldest is about to go off to college and he is so excited about it. I am so proud of him and what he has accomplished and overcame. When he was in elementary they diagnosed him with ADHD and we started him on meds right away, thinking that was my best option to help him (I was completely wrong). It wasn’t until I really looked into what I was really giving my son and wondering why he wasn’t himself. The meds he was on was the worst and I took him off ASAP the Dr. was mad, and I did not care one bit. It was then that I begin to look into other options to care for him without the meds, it was challenging at times the teachers would call constantly with complaints, but I pushed through. After reading and really understanding what ADHD really was, was when the change from an unhealthy lifestyle to a more homeopathic life took place and it has helped tremendously. Now he is older, he has been through some tough times in school but has also overcame those times with his favorite verse from Philippians 4:13 ESV which says,

13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

Now my boys are very different in all kinds of ways. My youngest is very quiet and he shuts down when he gets frustrated and overwhelmed with some things. I would get calls from the teacher that he would sit under the table or in the hallway and not come into the room or he would just stop talking. They would try every, and anything to get him to respond but failed. He is a great kid with an awesome spirit and will smile at anything. I started to become very worried and decided to have him evaluated; the lady said that he has a little bit of anxiety form the test she performed and that is about all, she would not recommend meds or counseling, she felt that we could handle this another way. So like his brother I am on the hunt for a natural remedy to help him the only way I know how which is reading, (I know you can’t believe everything you read) read any and everything about anxiety that I can just to understand it. It never fails when looking for an answer we can always find it in the word of God. Philippians 4:6-7 ESV says,

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

           I do the best I can for my boys with what I have, like many parents do; we push until we come up with a better solution or until something works then we stick with it.

My task is somewhat hard (to me), because I am not a man that can show his son all the manly things to do in different situations. But I thank God for brothers and Uncles that are true Godly man and they have stepped in to help me raise my boys. By the time we have kids we should have done all the stupid things we wanted to and now in a place of settling down because we are older and a little wiser. Nowadays we should be focused on our kids as they play a multitude of sports. Go through ups and downs in school with homework, peers, teachers and even themselves. Teaching them to not do the stupid things we did growing up, telling them to make the right decisions and choices, because the choices they make now will follow them.

As a mother I live life and go through it like normal, or as normal as I see it. I don’t really focus on all the struggles I have to go through just to raise two boys to be men that are respectful and responsible men at that. It is not until I am having a hard time paying the bills when I hits me and I begin to panic and go downhill fast, depression kicks in, anxiety begins to take over. But I have to pinch myself and remind me that I did not get this far alone, it was with God who has helped me through it all when it seemed that nothing was getting any better or when I just wanted to give all the way up. Then it dawns on me that I was given two lives to mold into Godly men to teach them that we are here on purpose and for a purpose. Proverbs 22:6 ESV says,

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

As a parent we must live by this verse. I know every family have their struggles, ours, we are always busy with a sport and we don’t really have that moment to really talk about what is going on in their daily activities or life.

We as parents, single or not, we all have a task; my task is to be there for my kids no matter what. Yes kids will get on that last nerve, but I come to realize, that I have to understand my kids by truly understanding their wants (they always want something) and needs. But my ultimate goal is to achieve is to teach my kids how to live life in a way that honors God first and their success will come. I am not a pro by any means, but I have been told that I have raised my boys pretty good on my own to be very respectful young men. Now that really touched my heart and I am proud. Lastly, with all the things we as parents or single parents go through just know this we can find rest in the Lord. Matthew 11:28-30 ESV says,

28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

2 thoughts on “The struggles of being a single parent…

  1. AW

    Fabulous article Momma! You inspire me all the time with your simple steadfastness in mothering. I am married, with a great hands on husband and some days I want to throw up my hands. But how can I when I see you doing it so beautifully single? I can’t. You encourage me by example and your verses. Thank you for that! Love you tons Mommasita!

  2. Angela

    Praise the Lord sister! You betta preach 🙂 Yes mam! Its hard when we’re going thru to remember that His yoke is easy and burden is light because we complicate things so much. Thank you for sharing! Very encouraging. Bless you Momma!

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